Many people are not sure whether or not they’re suffering from abuse. The confusion or neglect that goes with identifying abuse and the discomfort we go through is sometimes taxing. Let’s discuss solutions and awareness to empower you through abuse from a narcissist.
The following signs apply to any toxic relationships with your partner, family member, or even a friend.
1. Your relationship does not involve kindness or care
Toxic relationships can be very confusing at times making it difficult to know what’s far from the truth. This happens when a toxic person turns the tables, blames you, and does not take accountability for their actions. Remember, if someone hurts you and they are not capable of a genuine apology, you should try your best to limit contact with them. If you choose to hang out with this person, they’ll be remorseful and will continue their behavior. People whether have a decent character or they don’t. You cant change who they are. They do not have the resources to lead a happy life but we do!
2. Immature behaviour
The Hallmark of narcissistic relationships is they solely get bent toward a trigger that mature adults don’t get upset about. Also, they believe they’re entitled to preferential treatment which can be demanding, explosive, and punishable if they don’t receive it. Other topics that can be discussed with anyone can’t be discussed with this particular person as you fear they will abandon you or threaten to leave you. And again, you set aside your comfort to stop this from happening
3. Your anger and frustration take the best of you
How do you feel about this person compared to your time spent with other people? If you know you have integrity and empathy, are capable of having sane conversations, and get along with most people in your life but you feel this person brings out the worst in you because your boundaries are being violated, it’s time you get a reality check! Toxic people divert their accusations on you when confronted or they manipulate you into something wholesome. The arguments that you’ve been having make your head spin and mess with your thinking.
4. You feel the need to please them
Sometimes, narcissists accuse you of all the things they are and do such as lacking integrity, care, and love for people, being unfaithful, lying, and making it all about yourself. Naturally, you’ll be in sense and try to convince them otherwise. This is another deadly trap a person can get you hooked on. If you believe your integrity, character, well-being, and safety depend on someone’s opinion, then you’re susceptible to narcissistic behavior.
5. You’re cleaning up their mess
Being connected with toxic people can cause a lot of drama, rough edges, and disasters are always on the loop. Narcissists are not good with detail, accountability, or sensibility. They possess little or no thought of doing the right thing. If your life is connected with such people, then you’ll most probably be paying their fines and sorting out their messes and dramas, and even lying for them to cover their tracks. They drain the positivity out of you and make you feel worse than you already are. It’s always the sensible, kind, and responsible people that get recruited in such hurdles. By walking away from people like this, we can restart our life with self-responsibility.
6. Your boundaries are disintegrated not firm
It’s extremely common for people with poor boundaries to get involved with narcissists. You find it difficult to speak up and stand up for yourself and when you try to do so you’re often criticized, punished, and even rejected, you’re likely dealing with a narcissist. As a result, you try to minimize the trauma and may have breakdowns. You tend to feel powerless and you dissolve in so many emotions. In no time, you find yourself begging for your boundaries to be respected discovering that this person has zero empathy for you. It takes you down to a deeper place of helplessness.
7. Trauma bonding
Do you feel addicted, manic, and unable to stop trying to contact toxic people? Even when you know how much you continually get hurt by doing so, we can be horrified by how addicted we are to someone who treats us so terribly. Just doesn’t make logical sense but you know it’s dangerous when we find ourselves not being able to talk us out of playing with fire, only to get burnt.
8. Abuse symptoms
Things are now very serious. You’re emotionally and mentally exhausted from all the downfalls in your relationships. You start breaking down physically as well. Anxiety and depression and greater issues like fibromyalgia and PTSD start to develop. As this toxic person takes more and more of your energy, you tend to lose interest in other activities and lose focus. The shame and pain become so great that we tend to push away, lie to people and even cover up our traumatic feelings and symptoms. This is when you need to ask yourself, “How bad does it have to get before we awaken to the truth? “
If someone in your life doesn’t share your values or respect your feelings, it’s time to pull away and say to yourself and them, “This is who I am and what I need for us to continue.”
We might lose a lot by leaving, but staying doesn’t do well either. This way, we can embrace wholeness and be in control of our choices. You deserve the power to look after yourselves and to lead a healthy and happy life.
If you or anyone you know has experienced narcissistic abuse for a long time, please do not hesitate to seek help from a licensed professional
We at CareMe Health, are here to support and understand your issues and walk with you through this journey!
This blog was written under the expert guidance and feedback from Ms. Suvethaa Vasu, Clinical Psychologist at CareMe Health
Edited and Coordinated by Arathi Nair