Gaslighting in Relationships: What It Is and How to Heal

Gaslighting in Relationships: What It Is and How to Heal

Introduction

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that erodes your ability to trust your own perception. It’s a slow, insidious process that often begins with subtle doubts and ends with complete self-questioning. In romantic relationships—especially in the Indian context where silence, compromise, and duty are often mistaken for love—gaslighting can be even harder to recognize.

When someone repeatedly denies your experience, makes you question your reality, or blames you for their hurtful actions, it doesn’t just affect your mental health—it dismantles your sense of self. This blog explores what gaslighting looks like in romantic relationships, how it manifests in Indian social dynamics, the long-term emotional impact, and most importantly—how to begin the healing process. We'll also show how CareMe Health can support you through therapy, community, and recovery.

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic in which one person makes another doubt their memories, perceptions, or sanity. The term comes from the 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she's going insane by dimming the gaslights in their home and denying it’s happening.

In modern relationships, gaslighting doesn’t always involve dramatic lies. It can be as subtle as:

• “You’re too sensitive.”

• “I never said that—you’re imagining things.”

• “You always twist things around.”

• “You’re crazy. No one else would put up with you.”

These phrases, when repeated over time, can make you question your own feelings, beliefs, and sanity.

Signs You May Be Experiencing Gaslighting

Gaslighting is not a one-time argument or a personality clash. It’s a pattern. Over time, you may notice:

• You constantly second-guess yourself

• You apologize even when you don’t know what you did wrong

• You feel like you’re walking on eggshells to avoid conflict

• You make excuses for your partner’s behavior

• You find it hard to make decisions without their approval

• You feel confused, anxious, or emotionally drained after conversations

You may even start keeping text messages or screenshots to remind yourself that your version of events actually happened.

Gaslighting in Indian Relationships

In Indian relationships, gaslighting is often masked by cultural norms and gendered expectations. Here are a few examples:

• A wife is told she’s “overreacting” for asking her husband to share childcare responsibilities.

• A girlfriend is made to feel “possessive” for asking why her partner keeps hiding conversations with another woman.

• A husband is labeled “unmanly” or “too emotional” when he opens up about feeling neglected.

Cultural ideas like “log kya kahenge”, “shaadi mein sab kuch adjust karna padta hai”, and “aurat ka farz hai nibhana” can reinforce emotional manipulation and silence.

The intergenerational involvement of in-laws, relatives, or extended families often worsens this, creating layers of denial, blame-shifting, and emotional isolation.

Psychological Impact of Gaslighting

Gaslighting causes long-term psychological harm. Victims often develop:

• Chronic self-doubt: Even after leaving the relationship, they may continue to distrust their own judgment.

• Low self-esteem: Constant invalidation chips away at your sense of self-worth.

• Anxiety or panic attacks: Especially before interacting with the gaslighting partner.

• Depression: Feelings of helplessness, sadness, or shame often accompany gaslighting.

• Emotional paralysis: You may find yourself stuck in fear, unable to leave or speak up.

Some people even develop symptoms of C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) due to prolonged emotional abuse.

Why It’s So Hard to Recognize

One of the cruelest aspects of gaslighting is that it works in cycles. Often, the same person who hurts you will apologize, charm you, or act like everything is fine. This cycle of abuse and affection creates confusion. You may wonder: "If they can be so loving sometimes, maybe it’s me?"

Gaslighters often use denial, blame-shifting, and emotional withdrawal to confuse their partner. Over time, this psychological tug-of-war creates a deep inner conflict: you no longer know which thoughts are truly yours.

What Healing Looks Like

Healing from gaslighting is not just about leaving the relationship. It’s about reclaiming your sense of reality, self-worth, and emotional autonomy.

The first step is recognition. When you name what’s happening, you begin to break the cycle. Start by keeping a journal of events and your feelings. Reflect on patterns. If you feel consistently smaller, silenced, or confused around your partner, it’s worth exploring further.

Next comes validation. Therapy can be incredibly powerful at this stage. A trained therapist helps you see that your feelings are valid, your reality is real, and your pain is not imagined. CareMe Health’s therapists are trained to handle emotional abuse cases with deep sensitivity, especially in cultural contexts where these patterns are often normalized.

The third stage is boundary rebuilding. You learn to say no, to stop justifying yourself, and to rebuild your inner compass. This takes time—but it’s the cornerstone of healing.

Finally, comes self-trust. As you begin to see things clearly again, you relearn how to trust your gut, make decisions confidently, and express emotions without fear of invalidation.

How to Respond to a Gaslighting Partner

It’s important to understand that you can’t reason your way out of gaslighting. Often, confronting a gaslighter leads to more denial or manipulation.

Instead:

• State your reality without asking for permission: “I remember it differently.”

• Limit emotionally draining arguments.

• Set boundaries without guilt.

• Seek outside support—friends, a therapist, or support groups.

Trying to get a gaslighter to admit their behavior may never happen. Your focus should be on clarity and emotional safety, not convincing them.

What If You’re the One Gaslighting Without Realizing It?

Sometimes, people gaslight unintentionally—especially if they grew up in households where emotions were invalidated or denied. If you find yourself constantly dismissing your partner’s feelings or insisting only your version of events is true, pause.

Ask yourself:

• Am I trying to win the argument or understand their perspective?

• Do I regularly tell them they’re too emotional or overreacting?

• Do I apologize when I realize I’ve hurt them?

Self-awareness is the first step. Consider therapy to explore these patterns and learn healthier emotional tools.

How CareMe Health Can Support Your Healing Journey

Gaslighting can leave deep emotional scars, but healing is absolutely possible. CareMe Health provides safe, expert-led spaces to help you recover emotionally, rebuild your identity, and create healthy boundaries.

Here’s how CareMe can help:

• Therapy with psychologists trained in trauma and emotional abuse recovery

• 24x7 coach support to talk through moments of confusion, doubt, or breakdown

• Mood tracking and emotional assessments to monitor progress

• Self-care content and exercises to strengthen your inner voice

• Community spaces where survivors of emotional abuse support each other

Whether you’re in the midst of a toxic relationship or rebuilding after one, CareMe’s holistic, culturally aware approach ensures you’re not walking this path alone.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Crazy. You’re Being Manipulated.

Gaslighting thrives in silence and self-doubt. The moment you begin to trust your instincts, ask questions, and reach for help—you’ve already broken its grip.

You deserve relationships where your voice is heard, your feelings are valid, and your reality is respected. Emotional safety is not optional—it’s the foundation of love.

CareMe Health: Believe Yourself Again

 

Reclaim your voice, your confidence, and your peace. Visit www.careme.health to begin therapy, join community groups, and use tools designed to help survivors of emotional abuse rebuild their lives with clarity, courage, and care.