Let Them Be Free, Give Them Wings
Introduction
Peer pressures are on the full throttle during these years of adolescence. Children (a category they no longer fit into) are struggling with issues of identity, academics, social acceptance, and preparation for future careers that they are practically being trained to begin thinking like adults (a category they don’t fit in yet). A lot of times parents tend to expect levels of maturity that aren’t possible for adolescents to achieve. Not because they can’t, but instead because their brains haven’t reached physical and emotional maturity yet. Brain development happens at an accelerated rate during this stage of their lives. They face pressures from all aspects of their life, including their bodies which are changing drastically. With so many fast-paced changes all around them long for stability and structure while not wanting to accept it. And as a result, they begin looking all over for it. Some acceptable places, some not so much.
The only place they should ideally receive it from is home. A calm and stable-minded parental team is what will give your child the stability they require. They are at their experimental high in life, be it with habits, emotions, decisions, or behaviors. If they see resistance, they take it as a challenge to push boundaries. They will toy with it to see how far they can push those boundaries. The more resistance, the more the clash. It is at this time that they need to be reassured that
Parents aren’t superhumans and can make mistakes too
Share stories of your childhood, of struggles, and especially of failure. Share how you overcame a negative in life. Share how you turned a down-point in your student life into an opportunity to grow. How you learnt a skill or technique of tackling an otherwise stressful situation? Let your child feel that DNA allows them to conquer their world too.
Children aren’t The Great Atlas (Greek mythology)
They don’t carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. They aren’t responsible for the honour of the family. They are only responsible for their attitude and its outcome, be it academic, sports, and/or social outcomes. And that they should only concentrate on contributing to their all-around development.
Mental Health is a real thing
A lot of parents underestimate the causes and fallouts of mental health issues. In most cases, family and its method of tackling unfavourable situations influence the mental health of a child. If you want your child to take a pragmatic decision in life, begin by communicating how that is done. Expecting your child to “act their age”, “think about it” or “see the logic in it” will only confuse them further. While exposure online and otherwise is causing the average child to mature in wants, it isn’t exactly preparing children for the repercussions of a bad decision. This part is still part of the parent portfolio. But you can help your child figure this out simply by being polite in your communication. When you get angry or irritated with them it pushes them towards uncertainty all the more.
Children are little adults in the making
When you give a presentation at work, it is an opportunity for the world to see you systematic, organized, and thought through in your work. Consider parenting as an ongoing 24 x 7 presentation. They see you live your life the way you choose to. If you get annoyed, they absorb it as the ‘norm’. If you get excited, they see it as ‘usual expectations’. If they see you get angry and screaming, they are going to grow up thinking ‘this is how one should behave.’ How you treat people around you, at work, at the grocery store, in the parking lot, hospitals, everywhere. You are the ultimate role model. And they absorb everything. So, if you want to normalize their thinking, normalize yourself first.
Conclusion
If you want them to fly, give them wings. If you want them to stand tall, help them plant their feet. If you want them to race, let them feel free. All in all, if you want your child to make it big in their life and make you proud… Make their presence in your life big and make them proud of you.
“At The End Of The Day, The Most Overwhelming Key To A Child’s Success Is The Positive Involvement Of Parents”.
-Jane D Hull
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